Saturday, September 11, 2010
Decided
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
My Love
Being home in Minnesota for the month made me realize how much I miss the little things, staying up late in bed talking to my sister, discussing life with my mom on our walks, watching my little siblings transform in front of me, the warmth and comfort I feel when I am with my grandparents. I have trained myself to live without these things, but my fleeting moment with them left me wanting more. I don't know if I will end up back in MN/WI next year, but someday that's where I would like to settle down. Trust me, it is not because I love the weather. I often wonder why my ancestors decided to settle in one of the coldest places in the US, sigh. If that's where my family is, that's where I want to be too regardless of the temperature.
I spent the last month delivering babies on the OB/GYN service in Alexandria. I absolutely loved it. Both the doctors I worked with were great teachers and allowed me to do a lot in the OR, I was sewing the fascia and skin all by myself! It is a thrill to deliver a baby but it did not convince me to go into the field. I like it but you have to love it. I'm thankful I had the opportunity to be a part of such a special part of people's lives, including some old friends.
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
The Beginning of the End
Where is the time going? I still remember my first day of medical school like it was yesterday and now I only have nine months left. I feel I could be in school for three more years and still not know everything there is to know, it is overwhelming. I have my second step of boards coming up in August ... didn't I just finish studying for the first one? Gosh, I can't keep up with time anymore. I have questioned how much more I can handle to tell you the truth. The pressure of landing a good residency, performing for interviews, and transitioning into life as a real physician seems daunting. While listening to the message at church this morning, I decided to approach the process differently. There is nothing in life I have achieved where I did not work hard for it. My efforts have not put me into the top 5% of my medical school class, but I am OK with that. I find comfort knowing I did the best I could. I do not intend on changing my ways now. I will put my best foot forth and pour my whole heart into the residency application process, in the end that is all I can do. All else is out of my control. If I stay true to who I am, God will guide me the rest of the way. Even if things don't work out perfectly as planned, everything will still be OK. I have the most wonderful man beside me, a family that loves me unconditionally, and faith in God's plan. Everything else is superfluous.
Next month I am rotating at the Alexandria Clinic in Minnesota, I get to be home for a whole month in the summer! I am nervous and excited at the same time. There is an added pressure that I may know some of the patient's/employee's. I'll just have to do that much better I guess. Ryan, I will miss you so much! Please don't trash the apartment while I'm gone ;) (I know, you'd never do that)
We had some visitors a couple of weeks ago. Savannah, Marit, and Olivia came to spend a few days in Kansas City. I think we were all happy to get pool time in. Thanks for coming you three, it was fun. My sisters are the best!
For the second year in a row, I used my birthday money to attend a concert of my choice. This year I chose to take advantage of my fan club membership and buy Lady Antebellum tickets. I absolutely LOVE Lady A. Their music has been a refuge for me the past three years as I have spent countless hours studying to it. When they came on stage, my eyes started to water. I got so emotional because Lady A's music is more than a culmination of notes to me. It represents comfort, a way to bring me home again. The concert was awesome, I can't wait to see them again someday! Tim McGraw was an added bonus. I like his music and movies but he seemed arrogant to me on stage which turned me off a bit but it didn't deter from the overall enjoyment of the night.
Love ♥ Raquel
Friday, June 25, 2010
Nothing Gold Can Stay
Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf's a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
Sitting here writing this, I can't help but think of a beautiful woman who had the charisma to transform lives. A woman whose passion for life emanated to all those around her. A woman who loved her family dearly and wasn't afraid to show it. I am remembering my cousin Breanna, who passed last week at the age of 28. I remember watching her give her high school graduation speech with so much conviction and her whole life ahead of her, hoping that I could someday be as good and hard working as she was. She had a gift of teaching and a love of literature that she spread to those she taught. Her spirit shone bright at her memorial service yesterday. The service was full of beautiful music, psalm, and tributes. As I saw her one-year old daughter's ponytail in the front row bobbing up and down to the music her mother so dearly loved, I knew that her love would live on through it all. A beautiful woman gone too soon, now in the arms of our Lord in a land of bountiful grace. We will love and miss you always, Breanna!
I read this recently and wanted to share it also.
Poem written by Mrs. J.C. Yule,
A voice missed by the dear home-hearth--
A voice of music and gentle mirth--
A voice whose lingering sweetness long
Will float through many a Sabbath song,
And many a hallowed, evening hymn,
Tenderly breathed in the twilight dim!
--But that missing voice, with a richer tone,
Is heard in the anthems before the throne;
And another voice and another lyre,
Are added now to the angel-choir
At the altar, now, there's an empty chair,
Where one lonely pleader hath scarcely won
Strength, e'en yet, for "_Thy will be done!_"
--But that missing form in its saintly dress
Of Christ's unsullied righteousness,
Bows with worshipful accents sweet,
Where angels bow at the Saviour's feet
A step is missed by the cradle bed
Where an infant nestles its sleeping head--
Smiling, perchance, in his baby rest,
Deeming his pillow her gentle breast--
But the feet that moved with a soundless tread
In the calm still night by that cradle bed,
Beyond the waters of death now stand
Mid the fadeless flowers of the Heavenly land O heart, sore pierced by the fatal dart--
O, wounded, suffering, bleeding heart--
More than all others doomed to miss
The glance, the accent, the smile, the kiss,--
Nothing is lost that you miss to day--
Not even the beautiful, death cold clay
But Jesus guards it with watchful eye,
Soon to restore it no more to die,
Clothed in the bloom of immortal life,
The sinless mother, the sainted wife!
♥ Raquel
Listening To: "Love Lives On" by Mallary Hope
Breanna's Obituary
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
You Can’t take the Country Out of the Girl
The past couple weekends have been a nice respite from the ordinary. Just found out today I am doing my emergency medicine rotation this month. I am pretty excited for it despite the fact that I really wanted a pathology elective. Everything doesn't always work out exactly how you plan, I guess. Happy late Memorial Day.
♥ Raquel
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I'm Not in Kansas (City) Anymore
I have one suitcase worth of clothing, a book bag of text and fiction books, my toiletries, iPod, and computer. Life is so much more simple, it makes me wonder why we clutter our lives with things we don't need when they inevitably just increase the maintenance and stress required to function. I am able to enjoy the weather, breathe the fresh air, enamor at the sky full of stars, and experience once again stress-free living. It's hard to explain but I feel like air, like a bunch of weight has been lifted. I am refreshed and ready to move onto 4th year, what a great gift it has been.
Ryan and I met halfway last weekend to go on a camping extravaganza. We had an awesome camping wedding shower thrown for us and are stocked up on the camping gear so we decided to make use of it! We had a great time. (Besides the 30 mph winds and 32 degree weather one night) One thing I demanded was to see the Wizard of Oz Museum. It was very cheesy, complete with the Wizard of Oz soundtrack playing over and over, and thousands of collector items from the movie but interesting none the less. I have to say the highlight of the weekend, though was visiting the President Eisenhower Library/Museum. It is remarkable what that one man accomplished in his lifetime. The history of our country is fascinating to me and that is what I enjoy most about the presidential libraries, they make our history palpable. If anyone gets a chance to visit it or any other presidential library, I highly recommend it.
I have droned on enough about inconsequential things but I am satisfied with my current feelings of contentment. Take some time for yourself this month, it will do you wonders.
Love ♥,
Raquel
Currently Reading: "Fire" by Kristin Cashore
Listening to: "Falling Slowly" by The Frames
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Cruising in San Diego
We spent Thursday exploring the treasures of San Diego. In Old Town we had a full Mexican breakfast accompanied with margaritas, chips, and salsa. It's five o'clock somewhere, right?It felt like half the day was spent navigating the public transportation system. If you lived there it would be quite simple, but we are apparently challenged. Luckily, we were able to get everywhere we wanted to go regardless. The highlight of the day was taking the bus over the Coronado Bridge to the island of Coronado which houses the military base and the famous Hotel del Coronado. We spent some time on the beach and enjoyed the views from the hotel. After busing our way back to downtown San Diego we decided to walk around the Gaslamp District to get dinner where our waitress' name was Kate Walsh, born May 5, 1985 and also whom had a fraternal twin sister. Very strange. The only difference we could find was that she was not born in Fargo, ND but sunny CA.
Currently Reading: "Graceling" by Kristin Cashore
Listening to: "I Keep on Loving You" by Reba McEntire
Saturday, March 27, 2010
What is so exciting about watching arrogant multi-millionaires play with their balls?
His views on life are extreme but his message is clear, you can control how you want to live your life. If you want to be happy, you have to make a conscious decision to do it. When a student asked Dr. Adams how he stays happy while going through difficult times in his life he stated that no matter what he is going through, it is nothing compared to what others in our world endure daily and he remains thankful for everything in his life. I admit I am an optimist, but not to that extreme. Dr. Adams was mentioning that he could not comprehend why the most vital contributors to the future success of our country, teachers, are also the most underpaid profession around. Coming from a family of teachers I couldn't have agreed with him more. He was appalled by the fact that the most watched television program each year is the Superbowl, hence the comment. I guess Dr. Adams not only made me think about my future in medicine but how I go about my personal life as well. Some things that stuck:
"Unless you have fun in everything you do, you are not living."
"The joy of medicine is the intimacy of it."
"We have a new health care reform bill, yet no where in the bill does is say anything about health care or reform."



Overall, I am very happy I had the opportunity to meet such an incredible man. I am only sorry that I forgot my camera :(. Oh well, can't change it now.
Last weekend Matthew also came down for a visit which was a lot of fun. We ended up getting about nine inches of snow and made the trek through the storm to Lawrence to watch the KU vs. Northern Iowa game. It was a lot of fun but wow the Jayhawk fans are passionate! It was quite the upset. Thanks for coming to visit Matthew!
I am almost done with my 2nd internal medicine rotation and after that go on to do two months of family medicine; this year has just flown by! I am getting nervous about applying to residency and starting my 4th year soon. I am still on track to do pathology but you never know, I may still change my mind.
I am also looking forward to doing my rural rotation in Alexandria, MN for the month of July! It was officially confirmed this week. Hopefully I don't make too much a fool of myself.
Hope everyone has a great weekend,
♥ Raquel
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Joey's Jawas
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
the crazies
I also enjoy the variety of psychiatry. I have accompanied my doctor for nursing home visits, to the courthouse where she testified on a patient's behalf, and inpatient care. My doctor awed me when she was on the stand with the eloquence she presented herself with and the compassion she emulated for her patients. It is truly admirable. As much as I like it, I have had a difficult time reconciling the fact that regardless of a patient's actions, you must still treat them with utmost respect because they have a disease. I have been sworn at, had an entire jug of water thrown on me, and talked about dolls with their heads spinning and through it all I have to keep smiling. Psychiatry has definitely moved up my list of specialties I would consider doing, though pathology is still the front runner.
Ryan and I ventured up to Minnesota last weekend to watch my brother Mitchell play basketball. It was a very nice weekend.
Happy Valentine's Day! Ryan and I decided to get brunch this morning then we headed to Independence, MO, the hometown of former President Truman. We visited the Presidential library dedicated in his honor. Again, this did not disappoint. The history and background information is so neat to see.
Thanks for reading, until next time.
♥ Raquel
Currently Reading: The Lace Reader by Brunonia Barry
Listening To: History in the Making by Darius Rucker
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
So lucky...
In other news, Ryan is changing positions at Hallmark... again. He is transferring to the corporate offices in downtown Kansas City instead of Topeka. From what I understand his job will be somewhat similar to what he was doing in Topeka but will have a heavier emphasis on the engineering side of production. I am so excited and proud of him! Ryan, you deserve it, don't ever think otherwise. He will not be starting his new position for a few weeks as they need him to help make the transition smooth.
Ryan also surprised me one night I was at the hospital late (taking out an appendix) with my build-a-bear from Kacie dressed in a new outfit, surgical scrubs (I'm on my 2nd surgery rotation). I could not stop laughing. I have the best husband. I brought Buford (the bear) to the clinic the next day and my preceptor told me my husband must be whipped :) I told him I couldn't have asked for anyone better. Until next time...
Love ♥,
Raquel
Currently Reading: Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen
Listening to: American Honey by Lady Antebellum (new album came out today!!)