Just Breathe

100 miles per hour. The speed my mind is racing most days. Today, it has slowed down. I have completed another segment of my medical school career. Relief is an understatement. My life gets consumed by the obligations of being a medical student too often. What happened to enjoying life? I am an eternal optimist, always thinking it will get easier next month, next year. I have realized this will never be the case, in fact it may be just the opposite. However, not one iota of me would want to do anything else. My calling is medicine. I do not do it for the ultimate status or money (not with the loans I will incur by the end!), but to give back and make a difference. I will not emotionally detach myself from people.

I remember when I was working in the burn center, there was a very sick young man who was not going to make it. His wife was following behind as we were wheeling him down to the operating room for a futile procedure (that's another topic itself). She was crying and pleading with him to fight because they were supposed to grow old together. I had a hard time composing myself. I told one of the nurses afterwards that I felt weak because I couldn't keep the tears from coming. She took me into her arms and said something I will never forget, "Raq, the minute you don't care, is the minute you should no longer be a part of the field!" I must keep that conviction with me always no matter what exams I must pass, how many patients I must see in a day, or what others tell me otherwise. Sorry for the solemn topic again, I may be an optimist, but I also think too much!

As I said before, I have slowed down today. Even if it is only for the weekend, I am thankful! Ry and I were lucky enough to have a visitor yesterday, Ry's dad T (he already left this morning for the ten hour drive back to WI). I was telling him it is strange seeing him without C along, to me they come as a packaged deal. It was like Christmas all over again because he brought so much stuff for us. The nativity might be my favorite, however. It is so beautiful I am going to keep it up until Easter.


Last night, I had the yearly banquet for my MBA Healthcare degree I am getting. It was quite the event. As one of my friends said, it is fun to get to meet the people behind the name. We are such a cohesive group we forget that we all have lives outside of school. I am posting a picture of some of my girlfriends that have become a great support for me! All these women have a contagious charisma about them. It is hard to not love all of them.


I also have to admit my new guilty pleasure, the Twilight series. If you are up for an epic love story, these books are a must read. One night this week I was up reading a chapter and my heart was fluttering it was so intense. It gets my mind off school, never a bad thing. Ry, you are and always will be my Edward.

Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading.

♥ R