I have not been the best about updating, I know. The thing is, things have been going very well for Caleb and mostly uneventful since the fluid resolved. Last week we had a blood pressure scare on my end but it checked out OK after an hour of observation and I was just told to take it easy, but boy is that hard to do with a toddler, full time job, and husband who works full time and is taking business courses. The discussion the past few weeks has been whether or not to induce me or not. There has been much debate between the doctors. My doctor has felt that as long as Caleb is doing OK that we can try to wait it out for him to come on his own. However, after the appointment on Wednesday he feels we have given him all the "cooking" he needs and that the risks of waiting for him much longer to come on his own just aren't worth it. I was checked and am currently "unfavorable" for induction. I have been having quite a few Braxton-Hicks contractions so I was a little surprised by this, but what can you do? We have decided to give him through the weekend to try to come on his own and give my body time to get better prepared for delivery. The emotions have been piquing again for me this week. I'm scared what happens once he is delivered. He seems OK on ultrasound, but will the lung that was collapsed for a period be well developed? What will the scars from having two shunts shoved into his chest look like? What will this sweet precious little baby we have waited so long to meet look like? I feel I have not been able to fully accept yet that I'm having another baby. My grandma and mom got us some new newborn and 0-3 month sleepers for Caleb and I about broke down crying just putting them in the closet. I realized I have not let myself get excited for him, I'm just so scared of losing him. Even with him doing better it's still a fear I can't shake. I have realized though that the worrying will never stop for any of my children, even when they are 30 years old. The love you is all-encompassing and unconditional. What has gotten me through is all the support from family and putting my complete trust and faith in our Creator.
I have to say that this has been a very relaxing summer overall, though. Ryan, Jonah and I have spent a lot of quality time together. We even managed to get him potty trained! It was a long and somewhat painful process, but thank goodness we got it done. I can't imagine trying to do that with a newborn. We are so proud of him. I am also nervous how the adjustment will be for Jonah once Caleb is here and I don't doubt there will be some jealousy issues. We just have to make it a point to let Jonah know that he is still very much an important part of our family, even though his role may change a little bit, or a lot. So hard being the oldest :) It's also kind of a bummer because Jonah is not allowed in the hospital that I am delivering due to the summer virus going around. So, their introduction will have to be once we get home from the hospital.
This is a belly photo of me from this week. I am much larger than I was with Jonah! Caleb was estimated to weigh 8 lbs 2 oz a few days ago by ultrasound so we will see how accurate that is. I think he will be in the 8 lb range, but really don't think I have a 9 pounder in there.
Prayer requests:
1. We have a smooth and relatively pain-free delivery.
2. Caleb comes out screaming and requires no interventions.
3. Jonah takes on his role as big brother with ease
4. Peace and loads of love for my brother Joey
Love,
Ryan and Raquel
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