Decided

I have officially submitted my residency applications. What specialty have I chosen? Pathology. Why? A series of thoughts and revelations have led to this decision. Through my first two years of medical school, I enjoyed pathology but didn't consider it as a career. To be honest, the thought just didn't cross my mind. During rotations last year I liked every specialty for different reasons but did not feel an intimate connection with anything... until I followed the pathologist on my surgical rotations. So what does a pathologist do? Pathology literally translated means the "study of disease." Using laboratory and tissue samples, pathologists aid physicians in diagnosing illness so patients can get the treatment they need. I may do some autopsies in my career as well but overall they only constitute 2% of total practice.

The reasons I chose pathology as my future career:

1) Almost all pathologist are HAPPY people, unlike many other physicians I came in contact with

2) It energizes me

3) Potential for teaching

4) Intellectual challenge

5) I feel I can make a difference in pathology, whether that is through research or making a correct diagnosis

6) I can actually use my business degree!

7) Separation from the hierarchy and politics in medicine

8) Independence to tailor my practice

The down side is there is no patient care. However, I have realized that as a pathologist I can see patients if I want (though it will not be in bulk). Will I get paid for it?? Probably not, but that makes it all the more fulfilling. I feel as a pathologist I can channel my love for patients and people into a life of service. I will have more time to volunteer at a free clinic or travel abroad to disaster sites and give back that way. I am so excited about my decision! People don't have to understand but I have realized in life that is okay. Not answering to anyone or conforming is so incredibly liberating! With lots of prayer, God has led me to this decision. What an amazing gift! With His guidance I am letting life lead me instead of the other way around. I am empowered.

Now, waiting for my board scores is another story. I feel like I have passed my written exam but I just cannot know for sure. I am not quite as confident on my PE, I made some stupid mistakes. I really do not want to take either exam again but if so it will not be the end of the World. I just want to know either way soon!

Another thing that on my mind recently is Ryan. I don't think people realize how much he does for me and I definitely do not give him enough credit for it. He followed me to Kansas City to follow my dream because he loved me more than anything, something I have never doubted. With residency, there is potential I will uproot him again, something I don't have much control of. Yet through it all, he is still here supporting me financially, emotionally, and spiritually. I am so lucky to have him as my husband. But more than that he is my confidant, best friend... someone I can say anything to without judgement. Ryan, I love you more than my luggage. We are the real thing, the Big Kahuna.

Some highlights of the past 6 weeks:

1. Since I had to fly to Philadelphia for my PE exam, Ryan joined me to see the city. Ryan wore me out but we did see a lot. The Philly Cheesesteak IS as good as they say!

2. Going to Milwaukee to visit a dermatopathology office and Tim and Cindy. We also got to meet Matthew's new girlfriend, Jenna. She was so sweet. I told Tim and Cindy I couldn't say anything bad about them because I didn't want to do anything to scare her away :-)

3. Having my Dad and the clan come down for a weekend visit. We got to see NDSU beat KU on their home field... probably will never see that again! The 7 of us stuffed into our two bedroom apartment but I wouldn't have had it any different.

4. Started my pathology rotation at KU. So far it has been a great experience.

I can't remember the last time I had a free weekend in Kansas City, it may have been in June?? Ryan had to work this morning but we plan on enjoying the weather when he gets home. I miss my family so much, thanks for keeping me in your prayers throughout this process. It has been hard being away but know it will pay off in the end!!

Remembering the lives lost on 9/11 today as well as the men and women who have fought for our country in the days since. That day is forever imprinted in my memory. God bless the families of those who passed on that fateful day.

♥ Raquel

Currently Reading: The Guardian by Nicholas Sparks

Listening to: Is There Life Out There by Reba McEntire

P.S. I finished reading Mockingjay, the final book in the Hunger Games Trilogy... not what I was expecting. I planned on re-reading the series after I finished the final book but needed time to digest it first, really makes you think.